Introduction:
Once I thought happiness was a clear path – getting into a good university, finding a good job, and achieving “success” step by step.
After coming to SCIE, I had my first experience of staying up all night, more time to think about the meaning of life, and to present a conclusion on eight A4 pages. I even wondered if I was too idle after leaving the high-pressure and strict environment of a public high school, but I finally realized that what once seemed like clear score goals and plans actually brought me the shackles that wouldn’t allow me to deviate from the track; Now I am in a vast field, with so many directions to choose from, and confusion is the dizziness of freedom.
If I were to redefine “happiness” now, I would say: Happiness is not an end, but the ability to sense a glimmer of light in the unknown.
Chapter 1 From 'The Standard Answer' to 'Free Exploration'
At public high school, my life was a schedule down to the minute. On my first day at SCIE, I was at a loss when faced with all-English classes and the sudden extra blank time. For my first economics class, I knew the answers but got stuck in English. In my first chemistry class, I found that what I was familiar with was a completely different logic in the international system.
But it was also here that I communicated with the teacher on an equal footing, openly disclosed my anxiety, learned not to be impatient, and filled the gap at my own pace. My AS economics teacher Jasmine told me: “It’s normal not to understand when you first arrive, understand the definitions first, and ask questions at any time.” Mr. Amaku, my chemistry teacher, suggested that he would prepare an extra set of detailed notes for each class. These details made me feel the warmth of being held up for the first time in the chase.
When the standard answer disappears, the question itself becomes a gift. My goal is no longer to excel in all subjects. I am expected to find my strengths and explore my true passions.
Chapter 2 Competitions, Clubs and the Joy of "Loafing"
“Loafing”, a luxurious gift.
I signed up for the competition like everyone around me, but I didn’t expect that my foundation in science was quite solid, and the award brought me a long-lost sense of achievement; I passed the BPC and SFC interviews, sold flowers on Halloween, and conceived a “takeout cabinet” with my team members in the business practice competition (though it was found to have been realized in the market the next day); Participating in MUN, clumsily learning to speak on behalf of a country for the first time; Resolutely put down the computer to take part in the House competition, and tug-of-war with Wood’s team until the last moment (though failed); Looking at the paper that took months to “nurture”, I felt that one day I might actually become a professor.
If you say that all of these can be used as materials for CV and written in the activity list, it doesn’t count as “loafing “. Then what about “take a walk in the Nantou Ancient City on a rainy day, create a unique T-shirt with a fabric pen, and fold the origami of “the rabbit on the Moon Boat” during the Mid-Autumn Festival?
At the end of the first semester, my summary of myself was – I came to the right place. My eyes are no longer empty because my life is rich, my heart is full, my desire to explore is satisfied, and I am learning how to “live”.These “unproductive” moments have instead become the first things that come to my mind when I’m “tormented” by further mathematics, writing essays and filling out application information. It turns out that happiness is not about taking every step as planned, but about discovering new possibilities in the unexpected.
Chapter 3 Application Season: Learning Self-consistency in Anxiety
My application season was a six-month marathon: UK, Hong Kong, California in the US and RD round… Different systems of essays, tests, and interviews take turns. When I switched to the 10th version of my UK personal statement, at three o ‘clock in the morning, Iwas staring blankly at my computer and suddenly asked myself: What on earth do I want to express? Strangely enough, it was this process of “output” that allowed me to sort myself out for the first time – to realize that I had done so many interesting things, to realize that my passion and thoughts had long been hidden in those seemingly scattered experiences.
The most difficult moment was when the ED round applicants had already succeeded, but I hadn’t received the Cambridge interview invitation yet, and UCAS was still prominently marked as 0/5. I began to worry and question my application plan, which was not “focused”, and I was overestimating myself after all.
That night, while taking a walk downstairs, I smelled the fragrance of the “all-season osmanthus”, which pulled me away from the current pessimism and one-sideness. Who I am is not determined by those admission results. I am the one who, in the face of the confusion of those around me, resolutely transitioned to the international education system; The one who would be the first to raise her hand to run for GSDC president, willing to drag down the team and charge ahead; The one who always dares to give it a try, regardless of the outcome. Looking back, I have come a long way.
When I received the interview invitation to Cambridge, I was so excited that I wanted to cry; When I was rejected, I tasted the “celebration cake” calmly. Finally, when UCB’s web page popped up with a screen full of ribbons, I realized that the outcome is never a guarantee of happiness, but the fact that I was still able to find a fulcrum in life and discover my own value during those “undecided” days has made me a richer person.
Chapter 4 Thanks: The Moments that held Me up
I sincerely thank all the teachers who have taught me and helped me over the past two years.
Thirty minutes after the economics class on Thursday is often the time when Ms.Meggersee answers my questions and then provides me with “psychological counseling”, when I received an interview invitation but couldn’t help but doubt my ability, and that’s how the following famous quote came about: “Every morning when you wake up, you should think that there is a group of amazing people, and you are one of them.”
When I came to Ms.Kang with the Cam rejection letter and the admission to the University of Hong Kong, she affirmed me for the countless times, “trying your best is the most wonderful part.” Ms.Kang’s meticulous teaching in class and her natural love for mathematics touched me deeply. During that mock, I got a perfect FM score. “what a sculpture is to a marble, education is to the soul.”
After seeing the school selection list I made – a list that only considers rankings, my counselor, Ms.Sam, earnestly advised me to consider the factors that really matter: the experience of learning, safety, and suitability for my major. Throughout the long application season, she always gave me sincere advice, taking it seriously with me.
These two years have been incredibly lucky to have spent with friends (of course, the application season has been “supported” by friends ).
Special thanks to Keelia (aka “Master Huang”). The friendship between us and the wild romance we created together will continue to support me many years to come.
Thanks to the friends of the cool mock interview panel. Thanks to the Startup trio. Thanks to the best Bugalati team. Thanks to the “Kepler Automation” teammates and friends I met at IC. No more words, it’s all in my heart.
Finally, thanks to my family, who have always supported my decision without hesitation, allowing me to grow freely and in a better direction.
Epilogue Happiness has always been defined by ourselves
Every time I’m described by my friends as “a person full of vitality” or “the happiest of the people around me”, I feel very satisfied because it proves that I’m someone who can capture tiny happiness in my daily life, and it seems that my perception hasn’t regressed.
Perhaps I’m being pushed forward in the growing and mature crowd, unable to squat down and look down at the ants moving away breadcrumbs, but I can still look up at the sky while waiting at the traffic light to find out which cloud has a boundary like the seven continents.
The road ahead may still be full of variables, and I am my anchor.
- Article / Venus Wu
